ALL ABOUT LOVE

You certainly have heard it in so many songs, read it in so many books, and watched it in so many movies, but you still can’t grasp the full meaning of it. You have witnessed it in so many places on different occasions from quite a number of people yet you still can’t find the right words for it. That’s just how mysterious love is. In fact, it is present in our everyday lives from the little favors that our friends do for us to the considerable sacrifices that our parents bear for us. Sometimes it appears as something sweet like a surprise birthday party, but oftentimes, as something simple like a cup of coffee. That is not all; love may exist in everything that we do.

One could write a book about love yet it would still be insufficient to truly understand its mysterious nature. But inadequate doesn’t mean unimportant, for the attempt will be able to give us a deeper comprehension of love. So from here on, I will briefly discuss two reasons why love is a mystery; that is, by exploring its paradoxical nature and its ultimate source.

First is the paradoxical nature of love. And to illustrate this, we will be using a slightly confusing idea that “Love is blind and not blind”. Most of us must have heard the saying, “Love is blind for it sees but is doesn’t mind”. Certainly, one must be blind to love. And what aspects do that person must be blind of? It is, first and foremost, physical appearance. When we love, we tend to be blind of every detail of that person’s looks. Just take for example, our love for our parents. No matter what, they look beautiful in our eyes despite the scars, rashes, or whatever flaw they have. But despite being blind, love is at the same time not blind. Why is this so? Because love not only open our eyes but also our hearts to look through the person we love. That is, we were able to see the “real person” masked by that body. Also, love is not blind for we are concerned with the person’s spiritual growth. We do not cover up our beloved’s mistakes, faults and sins; in fact, we may choose to scold them, and thus ending up hurting them, just to teach them what’s right and wrong. With these, we can say that one must not be blind to love, which is contradictory with our previous statement above. Yet this paradoxical nature of love is only seemingly, for the being blind and not blind of love really depends on the situation that they can be best applied to.

The second reason why love has a mysterious nature is because its ultimate source is also a mystery. And when we talk of its ultimate source, we talk about God. It is because of the overflowing love of God that He created and sustains us along with His other creations. We can even say that God Himself is love. And God is mysterious in such a way that our limited mind cannot grasp His fullness and magnificence. We can’t see Him, and can only experience Him through revelation. And just like our experience with love, each of us has a unique experience with God, leading to different knowledge and descriptions of Him.

If love is a mystery, why is it then the most essential human experience? In other words, what is it with love, despite its being unknowable, that makes it the most essential human experience? There are three things – love lets us discover what we can do, what we should do, and what we can hope for. Love lets us discover what we can do for it helps us know our highest potentials. It makes us realize how far we are willing to go for love, and it helps us identify our strengths and weaknesses. Love lets us discover what we should do by bringing out the goodness in us. When someone loves us, he or she helps us transform into a better person by showing us that there is some good that exists in this world. Consciously or unconsciously, when we learn to love too, we pass the same goodness that was shown to us to our beloved. And by being close to goodness, we learn to differentiate what’s right from wrong, and thus, differentiate what we should do from what we shouldn’t do. Lastly, love lets us discover what we can hope for. Lucky are those who live their lives full of love for there is some kind of driving force that wakes them up every morning and gets them going until evening. And every time that they stumble down, there is a support system that helps them stand up. Love makes us confident in ourselves, despite our imperfections, and enthusiastic about the future, despite some obstacles.

Certainly, love has such a mysterious nature. It makes us happy, it makes us sad, and it makes us love again. And when we talk of love, most of us might think of romantic love. Being in a romantic relationship is one of the most defining moments in our lives, anyway. And speaking of romantic relationship, perhaps the most unforgettable would be our first love since it was the first time that we became so vulnerable to someone other than our family and friends. I can still remember mine, and just like any other first love stories, it didn’t end up well. When I was in third year high school, I met this guy who is very likeable. We didn’t go by the usual stage of courting or dating, we immediately jumped into the relationship without thinking of the possible consequences. And just like any other young couples at that age, we once believed that we were made for each other. I even thought, “Finally, God has started to write my love story”. We were so coupled that we would call each other until dawn and we would text each other every minute. For quite some time, I really thought that it would last forever. But nothing really lasts forever, so the “honeymoon stage” inevitably died after a year. We started cursing and accusing each other until we finally broke apart. Though I really hated him after that, it was hard for me to let go. Not because I still love him, but because I miss the thought of loving and being loved. It took me one year to let go and to forgive. Luckily, I have my family and friends who helped me realize that it’s not the end of the world yet, and that I must move on. It was just a phase that high school students need to go through. For some time, I really thought that I would never learn to love again. But I guess I’m just so stubborn to be stopped from loving.